One Minute Melee: Penelope Pitstop VS Daphne Blake

One-Minute Melee!
Where research means nothing when you just want to watch two people fight!
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! And NO research!

GO!

(Hanna Barbera Town)

In the center of town, the pink wearing, blonde haired Penelope Pitstop was looking around the shops as she was looking at some flowers.

"Gosh, I sure do love the smell of flowers on a nice spring day..." Penelope smiled as she took some flowers and sniffed them. "It feels nice just to get away from the hustle and bustle of being captured every thirty minutes."

Penelope looked over the flowers as she took a few roses. "Maybe I can buy a few for the Ant Hill Mob... I know they'll appreciate them!"

As Penelope was fixing to buy some flowers, meanwhile, over at the shop next door, the purple wearing, red haired Daphne Blake, taking a break from the Mystery Inc. gang, was looking around at a nice perfume shop, smiling as she looked around.

"Man, I have to look good on my date with Freddy tonight!" Daphne said as she looked at the different perfumes. "But what to use...?"

Daphne smiled as she looked at a bottle and sprayed a sample on her hand. She smiled as she paused. "Hmmm... peach scented... it's nice..."

Daphne paused as she tried another scent. "Hmmm... strawberry lemonade?"

Daphne then sprayed a little on her wrist as she took a whiff. "Smells all right..."

Back in the flower shop next door, as Penelope was looking at some tulips, the clerk was sitting down at his desk, humming a bit. He knew his favorite customer always stopped by his flower shop, which made him pretty happy... although he didn't know he was about to have a sour day.

All of a sudden, a bunch of hands grabbed and gagged the shop clerk, dragging him into the other room... as two familiar brothers, dressed in shop clerks' clothes, with the name tags 'Crane B.' and 'Tank B.' walked out and took his place.

"I don't see why we have to do Claw's dirty work for him!" Crane groaned as he sat down.

"I hate it too, but he said he'd double our salary if we do it." Tank said.

"Since when has he paid us?" Crane rolled his eyes.

Tank paused. "Good point. I hate having to grab Penelope when she's not looking, but I don't know if we have a choice..."

"We could leave." Crane whispered.

"We could, but where would the Bully Brothers go?" Tank sighed.

Crane paused. "Good point. Maybe we should start our own business."

"You know, you're right... oh, here she comes!" Tank whispered as Penelope came up. Tank smiled as he said, "Greetings, we're new employers, and we'll be taking care of you today! Ah, nice set of flowers you got there..."

"Thank you." Penelope smiled as she noticed the nametags. "Uh... Crane and Tank."

Penelope frowned in suspicion, but smiled. "I've been selecting some flowers for some very good friends I personally know."

"Ah... Ant Hill Mob?" Crane asked as Tank was ringing up each bouquet of flowers.

"Indeed." Penelope smiled as Tank noted three extra bouquets.

"Say... what're the three bouquets for?" Tank asked.

"Oh... one of them is for my boyfriend... I know, it's strange, a girl giving a boy flowers, but I think these symbolize how much important the boy is to the girl's life. As for the other two bouquets... well, I'm hoping to give these to two friends." Penelope smiled.

"Oh?" Tank asked as he rang the flowers.

"Yeah, they're with a guy that wants to murder me on a regular basis." Penelope explained as Crane and Tank stopped and looked at each other. "Don't get me wrong, I really hate the guy they work for, but I think his minions are completely the nicest people I ever had the chance to talk to."

"You don't say..." Crane said as Tank rang up the last bouquets, looking down.

"I know they always worked with him, and they hate doing it, from what I've examined of them. The only time I ever saw them without the guy they work for was when they were alone. They may act like clones, but... actually, there's a personality within each brother. Their names may be the 'Bully' Brothers, but I personally think they're really sweet and kind. I may already be spoken for, but..." Penelope smiled. "I think next to the Ant Hill Mob, the Bully Brothers are a pretty good team."

"Aw, thanks." Tank smiled, before covering his mouth, hoping Penelope didn't catch that.

Crane attempted to cover it up, just in case, "What he means is, if we ever see them, we'll... tell them you put in a good word."

"I'm sure you will... Crane Bully and Tank Bully." Penelope gave a smile.

The two looked at each other as they sighed, both saying, "That obvious?"

"Sorry." Penelope said. "Those little ol' disguises didn't actually fool me for once."

"The name tags. It was the name tags, wasn't it?" Tank said.

Penelope sadly nodded. "Look, I won't tell the Hooded Claw I figured out the scheme... just say I punched you in the face and be done with it."

"All right, sounds good." Crane said. "Well, thirty dollars, please."

"I got forty." Penelope said as she gave two twenties to Tank, who rang it up and gave ten back. "Thank you. By the way, if you want to make it convincing... you might want to untie the clerk. I'm sure he'll give you something more convincing to let the Hooded Claw fall for my little ol' tricks."

"Oh, he's a karate master?" Tank asked.

"You might say that." Penelope said as she handed Crane and Tank their bouquets. "Here you go. Thanks for being good sports, guys."

"No problem, Penny!" Crane smiled as the two waved to Penelope as she was leaving the store. "Gee, she's really so nice!"

"I know!" Tank smiled as he looked at the bouquet he was holding.

Meanwhile, back at the perfume shop, Daphne was putting down some bottles of perfume as her favorite clerk. "Just want to buy these, please."

"Ah, Miss Blake. Date tonight?" The store clerk asked as he started to ring up the prices.

"Yep. Me and the gang haven't had a mystery in about a month, so I figured we'd do a little break for a while. Scooby and Shaggy are out at their favorite restaurant, probably eating it out of food by now, Velma's been doing some more research at the library, and Freddy and I have been continuing our dates." Daphne smiled. "Basically, it's a nice break."

"I see." The clerk smiled. "How's that new spinoff series working for you?"

Daphne groaned. "Don't get me started on that. I mean, I like it, I like that we're still solving mysteries, but I really hate how I'm supposed to act! They think I act like a two year old in a graduating high school student's body! They even had this episode where I was seemingly born on Christmas... and personally, I think having my birthday on Christmas sounds pretty cool and coincidental... but no, I have to be an idiot and insist to my friends they celebrate my birthday instead of Christmas! And what is wrong with that? I'm telling you, what is wrong with that?"

"Is your birthday on Christmas?" The clerk asked.

Daphne rolled her eyes. "No, but it is in the early winter."

"I see..." The clerk said as she got the price. "Forty two thirty-nine, please."

Daphne sighed as she pulled out a fifty and got some change back. "Jeepers, things have really inflated since the seventies."

"Thank you very much, Miss Blake. Good luck on your date!" The clerk smiled.

"I always do." Daphne smiled as she walked out and was about to walk to her right...

Which was around the same time Penelope left the shop and started heading to the left... as both of them bumped into each other causing the two to drop their bags.

"Oh no!" Penelope gasped as she went over and picked up Daphne. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fi-" Daphne stopped as she and Penelope looked at each other. "Wait, I heard of you from my family!"

"I heard of you as well, you're Daphne Blake!" Penelope smiled. "One of the heiresses to the Blake fortune!"

"And you're Penelope Pitstop, only heiress to the Pitstop fortune." Daphne gave a smile. "Jeepers, this is certainly a surprise."

"I suppose it is. Still working on mysteries?" Penelope asked.

"As always." Daphne said. "Still driving around in race cars?"

"Only on occasion." Penelope said as she picked up her bouquets. She then noted the perfume bottles. "Ah. Date tonight?"

"How can you tell?" Daphne said dryly.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around, Daphne." Penelope said.

"Okay, Orphan Girl." Daphne smirked, knowing that she liked pushing Penelope's buttons.

Penelope stopped short as she turned around. "...take that back."

Daphne said nothing as she was looking through her bag. "Hmmm... nothing seems to be broken..."

"Take it back." Penelope said, calmly laying down the flowers and turning around, trying to hold in a smile.

"Hm? You're still here?" Daphne asked, turning to Penelope.

"Take back what you said!" Penelope growled.

"Why? It's true, isn't it? Nobody ever sees your parents..." Daphne said.

"THEY WERE MURDERED!" Penelope growled. "BY THE GUY WHO IS TRYING TO KILL ME AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY! AND I'M AN OLDER WOMAN NOW!"

"Sheesh, I didn't think you'd be so sensitive!" Daphne rolled her eyes.

"You STILL have parents, so shut up!" Penelope yelled. "I don't know what Fred ever saw in a red haired idiot like you!"

Daphne's eyes widened as she said, "Excuse me? Idiot?"

"Oh, don't deny it! I've seen the new show!" Penelope smirked.

"That is not a true representation of my character!" Daphne frowned.

"You're right... being kidnapped is." Penelope said.

"That was not my original character either!" Daphne frowned.

"You're right. You just... stood around... actually, thinking about it, Fred's the leader, Velma's the smart one, Shaggy's the funny guy, and Scooby's the animal mascot... what are you useful for?" Penelope said.

"Oh, that is it, Pitstop!" Daphne said as she put her bags aside and got into a fighting stance. "Maybe I should give you a taste on what I'm SUPPOSED to be!"

Penelope Pitstop smirked. "If I win, you take back what you said about me being an orphan."

"But it's true!" Daphne said.

Penelope frowned as she held a stance. "It's fortunate I've been athletic in a lot of sports... bring it on!"

THIS IS GOING TO BE AN AWESOME CATFIGHT! MEOW!
FIGHT!

(60 Seconds)

Daphne jumped over and started using some kung fu moves as Penelope rolled around and started to do some hand stands. She then did some flips reminiscent of gymnastics as she kicked Daphne right in the face, causing her to grunt as she started backing away.

Daphne recovered quickly as she saw Penelope coming right at her with a spinning kick. Daphne, thinking quickly, blocked the spinning kick as she flipped Penelope around, making Penelope trip up and fall as Daphne did a little spin of her own.

Penelope frowned as she got up, knowing that she and her were pretty evenly matched. Penelope adjusted her helmet as Daphne came straight at her with another kick, kicking her straight to the ground.

(50 Seconds)

Daphne then did some more kicks right at Penelope's back as Penelope's hand grabbed Daphne's feet as she flung her straight towards a shopping window, causing Daphne to break one of the shop windows. One of the shop clerks working there looked out in worry as he said, "Not again!"

Daphne frowned as she grabbed a nearby guitar that was in the shop's windows as she said, "To quote a famous horse... KABONG!"

Daphne then whacked Penelope with the guitar as the classic 'kabong' sound effect was heard. Penelope frowned as she rubbed her head. "Oooohhh... that smarts!"

Penelope frowned as she grabbed a guitar from the case and started swinging it around wildly as Daphne kicked the guitar and chopped it clean in half.

Penelope looked at the guitar handle she was holding in concern, but then frowned as she whacked Daphne in the eyes with the handle of the guitar.

"Hey! You're ruining my mascara!" Daphne called as some make-up she applied on her eyes was smearing. Daphne frowned as she kicked Penelope straight into another building.

(40 Seconds)

Penelope frowned as she spotted Daphne's bag from nearby. She smirked as she grabbed her bag and pulled out one of Daphne's bought perfumes.

"Taste this!" Penelope said, taking the bottle top off and splashing the perfume bottle over Daphne's face.

"Hey!" Daphne groaned as she covered her eyes and groaned, trying to look around. "My eyes!"

Penelope, seeing an opportunity, ran up to Daphne, and got her in a headlock as she started to punch her face in several times. Daphne, recovering, tried to grab for Penelope, but it was no use as Penelope then pulled her hair!

"Ow!" Daphne screamed as Penelope threw Daphne by her hair right into the streets.

Daphne groaned as she got up, growling. It was on now!

(30 Seconds)

Penelope screamed as she started to jump right at Daphne, fist ready. Fortunately, Daphne rolled out of the way as Penelope's hand made contact with the concrete, groaning as she was trying to lift her hand, but Daphne reacted quickly as she grabbed Penelope's scarf and started using it to choke her. Penelope's eyes started to bug out a bit as Daphne kicked her helmet clean off.

Penelope then used her feet to kick Daphne in the shins as Daphne yelped, letting go of Penelope's scarf. Penelope, frowning, took her scarf off and discarded it, so that she wouldn't worry about Daphne using it to choke her again.

Daphne frowned as she took off her hair ribbon as she let it down. Penelope then started charging after her with another spinning kick as Daphne did some more flips, causing them to pull off some more kicks and blocks.

(20 Seconds)

Penelope then proceeded to kick Daphne right to the corner of the building where Penelope's eight bouquet of flowers were. Daphne saw the bouquets nearby and smirked as she started to stomp on the flowers.

"Oh. No. You. Didn't." Penelope growled as she ran over to Daphne's bag and grabbed it. "Okay, then prepare to hear this sound!"

"You wouldn't, Pitstop." Daphne glared at Penelope.

Penelope smirked as she held the bag really high... and dropped the bottles, broken glass and bits of perfume liquid everywhere on the ground. "That's for my flowers."

"Why you-" Daphne screamed as she kicked Penelope in the stomach.

Penelope frowned as she recovered, just in time to block a punch coming in her direction.

(10 Seconds)

Penelope then threw Daphne by her hand right into the middle of the road as Penelope ran right towards her, Daphne getting up, just in time to block a kick.

At the worst possible timing, Crane and Tank were about to walk out, then yelped as they jumped back in as they were watching the battle.

"What in the world?" Tank asked.

"That's what I was going to say." Crane said in surprise as the two started to watch Penelope and Daphne duke it out.

Daphne frowned as she glared at Penelope as Penelope narrowed her eyes at Daphne.

(5...)

Daphne and Penelope each curled a fist as they looked raring to go.

(4...)

Daphne and Penelope then started to take off, fist on the ready.

(3...)

They both raised their fists as they were about ready to make contact with each other, Crane and Tank covered their eyes.

(2...)

Both Penelope and Daphne screamed in anger as they were held their fists close to each other.

(1...)

What started as a match that looked evenly matched between the two fashionista girls turned into... well, still an even match because both fists collided with each other's faces at the same time.

DOUBLE KO!

Both Daphne and Penelope groaned at the punch they gave each other that they fell down on the ground and collapsed, groaning.

Crane and Tank looked around to see the damage caused around the street. Tank shuddered, "I don't know if I should be scared or impressed with Penelope's prowess."

"I'm more impressed to know what exactly happened between her and that red haired girl." Crane said.

"Say, isn't that Daphne Blake of Mystery Inc.?" Tank said, examining the breathing two.

"I think it is..." Crane said.

"...do you think we should call a hospital?" Tank said in concern.

"We better do that. After all, Penelope did give us some flowers. We may as well return the favor." Crane said.

Tank nodded as he and Crane went to a nearby phone booth as Crane pulled out a quarter and put it in. Tank paused. "You know something, I have a feeling this rivalry isn't going to be over yet..."

"Why do you say that?" Crane asked, waiting for the line to pick up.

"Because the minute those two wake up, they're going to want a rematch with each other, should they come across each other again." Tank pointed out.

Crane paused. "Good point. Well, we're just going to have to make sure those two don't cross paths..."

"I hope you're right." Tank said as he looked at the two unconscious girls outside.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have...

A TIE

----------------------------------------------------

(ABOUT A THOUSAND YEARS INTO THE FUTURE)

In space, where a green spaceship was being driven, Phillip J. Fry was watching the recent match of One-Minute Melee between Penelope and Daphne as he was drinking more Purple Slurm.

"Fry, get off the computer's database!  We didn't put that in to watch videos!" Leela frowned as she switched off the computer.

"But Leela, this is like, One-Minute Melee!  It's one of the best shows where you take two characters and they battle together, not giving a crap about anything!" Fry smiled.  "It may not have been in my time, but from what I've researched, it looks pretty cool!"

"Ooohhh... sounds like my type of jam!" Bender said as he pulled out a beer from his compartment.

"Will you just focus on the delivery, please!" Leela frowned.  "According to this, we're supposed to go near this black hole and deliver this to some person in a nearby past dimension.  It's going to take a lot of fuel, but we'll get there.  Now, help me keep an eye on the package to Hyrule!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Fry frowned as he followed Leela outside.

Bender paused as he gave a smirk.  "Ooooo... looks like old Bender's alone... let me see what this One-Minute Melee thing's all about..."

Bender then switched on the computer as he looked at it.  "Oh, the next fight's about to come on... wait a tic... is that Leela on one of the fighting boards?  THIS I got to see!"

Bender then relaxed as he drank a little beer and pushed play, wondering what was going to happen...